Saturday, November 14, 2009

Well, I thought it was funny at least....

******- Name is obscured to save my own ass from getting in trouble...

So there Mr. *****, what is your most prized possession in the world i ask you?
DUH! it's obviously the strips of red tape on the ground outside my door, sheesh.

to understand where this is going you need to understand where it is coming from...

so here's a little back story.... Massachusetts Maritime Academy- Where the Unqualified Lead the Unwilling, to do the Unnecessary... AKA the worst excuse for a regimented Military Academy in the country. With a Cadet(student for all y'all out there unfamiliar with fancy shmancy military terminology.)

but anyways, I'm a sophomore there, and as thus I'm in the awkward position of kinda being friends with everyone... I'm good friends with quite a few Seniors, who are the Officers(people in charge) of the Regiment.... Mr. ****** is one of them... a 2 Bar officer, a Company Adjutant(essentially the most insignificantly small time position in the senior staff, but nonetheless important enough that he can write people up for disciplinary action if he wishes...) Now Mr. ****** thinks he's the shit, and that he's all important and omnipotent... not the truth, but who are we to burst his bubble?

ANYYWAYYSS.... where was I? O! Yeah!
So he's a senior and I'm a sophomore, and I'm friends with a few freshman too... here comes the catch, they are freshman in his company(that means he is kinda sorta almost in charge of them and making their lives miserable while he's here.)
can ya see where this is going?

well the problem lies in the fact that he hates them... every last one of them, for no other reason than that they are freshman...
but since he's an officer they keep going to him with questions... yup pisses him off royally


THE DEATH-ZONE

O yeah... he made a Death-Zone, as he calls it....

Mr. ******'s DEATH-ZONE consists of red electrical tape marking a 3ft X 4ft box outside his door, and if any youngie(a demeaning word for freshman) steps foot in it, then they will be subject to an extremely terrifying death by method of his choosing...

he's outlined various plans on how he would cause their painful and untimely death's... one such plan included a DEATH-ZONE security system armed with motion sensor-triggered Laser cannons, and perhaps even a De-atomizing energy burst that would transport them to the reaches of space and let them suffer as the vacuum of space tore their bodies apart to relieve the difference in air pressure between their lungs and the vacuum they are falling endlessly through...

in my infinite wisdom, i convinced myself that something needed to be done to fuck with this so called DEATH-ZONE..... thus i hatched-


THE PLOT....

the plot was simple, it called for the convincing of one of the freshman to do something stupid... now I'm sure it's the same here as it is at any normal college, that convincing a freshman to do something stupid is as simple as saying "HEY YOU! GO DO THIS!!" ... and they'll sprint off to do it in an attempt to be cool, whether or not you were serious.

so of course it wasn't that hard to convince a freshman he should go rip up the tape and move it over to in front of his own room.......

...hey I thought it was hysterical.. but apparently Mr. ****** didn't entirely agree.

he straight flipped the fuck out....


End Results and Consequences:

1. I am Banned from that floor of the building-(I think I'll actually steer clear for a lil while at least.)
2. I am Forbidden to talk to the Freshman in that Company. (good luck enforcing this one Mr. ******)
3. Violating either of those orders will get me placed on disciplinary report. (I Dare you...)
4. Mr. ****** is royally pissed off. (O Grow the fuck up and get your panties out of a bunch man.)
5. I had material to write this blog about. (thank god, i was about to go to sleep without amusing someone first.)
6. MOST IMPORTANTLY; I LOL'd. (that's right! I LAUGHED OUT LOUD!!! bitch...)



Moral of the Story:

Practical Jokes are part of life, SO GROW THE FUCK UP AND LEARN TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF!!!!

and that's all i have to say about that...





and as usual, I've provided some almost relevant viewing material for your entertainment.